institutions

taking time off can be both relaxing and confusing. i resigned from my previous promising career as an equity analyst end of July. while my daily life in macquarie required me to get up at 5:30am and be present in the office at 6:30am for morning meetings and then get home at 6:30pm the soonest, i consider now i really have too much time to do the followings: getting up at 9am/going to bunk past midnight, watching dvd marathon, finishing 3 books in 1 week, exercising 3x a week, and doing every thing else at slower pace. yipppieeee i'm a free man. (my eyepuffs still remained, though, i just got me a clinique eyecream to fix that.) on the plus side, i take things more lightly these days, keep in touch with some old friends that i never had the time to talk to, shed some weight, and made amends with my mom n dad.

that's the relaxing part, here comes the confusing part. i've always been inside a structure, formal or non-formal, i live by routines. now that i have nobody to give me the structure/rule (except you count those from mom then yes ofcourse), and i havent set up my own system, i just drift.. and to be honest, i dont like drifting. so i need to do something about this, meaning setting up my own sets of system. i believe in institutions, where we can generate ideas to, generate money from. that's the medium i need for now.

The future is in the palm of your hands...,
and determined by what you have inside of your head and how much or how little you want to reveal it to others. do it for a good cause. and the rest will take care of it and lead you to your dreams.

my internship is officially over.. ahhh all and all, it's a cool thing, experience and time that wont happen twice in my life. meet loads of people, very nice ones.. didnt expect that the goodbye moment was harder than i thought i would be. hehe.

what's left is.... freedom until i return to the states.

i dont have that much to say now..

~~my brain is on holiday~~

oh ampir lupa
2 hari yg lalu.. my mom and i were at sushi tei. and i overheard a conversation of 2 guys sitting next to me at the sushi bar. they went..
"kalo buat org tua mah worth it lah kerja susah2"
"gue ga mau pasangan hidup yg kyk gitu.. sori.. tp yg nantinya nyusahin gue"
"kalo cewe2 udah di zona 'aman' ya gue blg sih tinggal jaga fisik aja"
"makanya susah nya gitu sih jadi gue masih gonta-ganti"

pokoknya gitu deh yeee... u get the idea. lalu, pertanyaan gue adalah: apa sih tuntutan pria terhadap wanita hari ini? apakah wanita diharapkan mencari uang sendiri? apakah wanita seharusnya berdandan secantik mungkin dan menjadi pendamping pria sukses? karena apa yg gw tangkep dr pembicaraan 2 pria ini (profil: eksmud sukses jakarta, tampang lumayan, the type of 'we have it all' kind of people), adalah mereka merasa berhak bicara ttg cewe yg nyusahin mereka, make uang mereka, atas dasar bahwa perempuan2 itu tidak ada kapasitas untuk menghasilkan uang sendiri dan ada di dalam posisi membutuhkan pria untuk kebutuhan finansial mereka. lalu, apa cowo2 ini memang menerima kenyataan yg seperti itu dan kemudian ingin meminimalisir kerugian yg akan mereka terima nantinya, dari keadaan skrg: cewe2 yg tidak bekerja dan aku pria sukses? isn't it obvious that money explains everything and it effectively distributes power in the society. it's not a corrupted society. it's not an unjust society. it's a change, a challenge that we need to overcome.

yet...another thing that crossed my mind was.. kalo misalnya nih.. these guys meet women, just as successful as they are, or even exceed them, and also have everything: looks, money, power, taste and attitude, do you think they would go after these women? or is it the case that these men would still prefer more inferior ones as their spouses?

funny life, isn't it? can't we just leave those things behind and believe in simple love, when it comes to human relationship?

hari ini gak masuk kantor. alesan ke temen2: nyokap gak kasih pegi, takut gempa susulan.. which's partially true.
jadi ya.. kmrn siang jem3 itu terjadi gempa di sebelah selatan p.jawa; kita yg di gedung tinggi kerasa. ternyata pas gw pulang liat tipi, ada tsunami di bbrp lokasi di jawa yg menyertai gempa itu. waduh.. sial bgt sih.. sedih deh.

watcha doin'?? packin!
haha, sori loh. tp gue uda tinggal cabs doang ke indo! aku kangen semuanya!!!

done with finance exam yesterday!! not quite pleased about it. it's not that i shoulda studied more. i spent 2 whole days on it man! i should get more credit for that extra hours i put on my study, since i usually spend my time on idiot tasks that dont really contribute to my grade (just put it in my idiot expense later haha)
still have some more finals to go. and then, i'm off to jakarta in less than a week! yayyyyy!!
ok, so my presentation group got B for the intl business, not happy about it. well i dunno how other groups ended up getting. the feedback went like ,'nice idea in trying to do lessons-learning from Ford and Nike experiences in Vietnam', wat the hell? it's His idea in the first place we didnt even want to do a 15min presentation on 2 companies! it's the GSI who told us to do this. the thing is we had a time management problem. as a 2nd presenter, when i began talking, it's already 5min left while we still had to deliver conclusion (the essence) of this presentation. so i went verrryyyy fast! my 1st peer spent 10mins for articulations and beautiful gesture! should i hadnt talked that fast, my 3rd peer would havent be able to conclude. seriously. argh, i'm not happy with the way we worked. it's totally inefficient. we spent too much meeting time to gather information before reaching the concensus of what we'd talk in the presentation. i mean, the people r super nice though.

udah ah, gue mo memulai hari ^_^

I just watched the documentary of forrest gump, again.
it really teaches me a lot.
it is a very good reminder for me, that being simple is very rewarding indeed.
what makes you happy
and what makes you smile

your first knowledge of this world takes place near your home.
i never understand, why people dont want to return to their homes
were they not happy before?
or is it
only becoz the sense of hope from other places other than home
we live in hope but i never let my hope flies further than i can live up to

when gump's mom said, 'life is like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you're gonna get'
what i could think of
what i have been trying to plan out a rollout of my life, my career, people that i want to meet
in fact, i can never plan anything
i let small things pass me by
i am two persons inside
one goes for simple impulsive aspects embodied in daily life
the other goes for big things, love to talk big and pressurized